To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday, we are going to have a special "No Excuse Sunday."
Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep."
We will have steel hetmets for those who say, "the roof will cave in if I ever come to church."
Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold and fans for those who think the church is too hot.
We will have hearng aids for those who think the preacher speaks too softly and cotton for those who think he preaches too loudly.
Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.
Some relatives will be in attendance for those who like to go visiting on Sunday.
There will be T.V. dinners for those who can't go to church and cook dinner also.
One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to see God in nature.
Finally, the sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never seen the church without them.
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